Tuesday, 3 May 2011

Police Line-Up

The sun shone oppressive on the filthy gilt streets, gold specked with dirt and spit. The thick smog scrawled into the basin from Hollywood Hill, and all was a white noise of engines purring over, horns rumbling, and sirens wailing like disembodied voices amongst a sea of black and Latino faces.
He approached the building, its thousand glass eyes staring out; its brilliant exterior hiding a deep and shady belly full of frosted glass, beaten brows, and blackguardly exchanges. He entered, signed in, and was taken up.
He limped into the room, his legs pained and bruised, and was met by the officer, whose black uniform seemed starched onto his body. The cop looked him over sneeringly, but the man did not acknowledge the hateful face - stuck on his neck like a flabby stony totem glaring out at him.
Another came in and stood by the door, taking off his peaked cap to fan himself. ‘You ready, son?’ asked the first officer, peering out from the emptiness behind his hard face.
‘Yeah,’ he murmured.
‘Sorry, son?’ the cop repeated.
‘Yes, Sir,' said the man, then he looked down in pity.  
He saw the sound recorder’s red light in the darkness, blinking steadily. He felt weak, felt an aching in his ribs – so sensitive since that night.
            ‘Right, send ‘em in,’ said the first officer, and in they came - all five of them. They stopped in their appropriate positions, faced the glass, and one of them – the one who’d beat him - stared knowingly at the window, seeming to pierce through into his being, two blue shards shining from his face.
‘Right, when you’re ready,’ the second cop said. He put his hand on the man's shoulder: ‘I trust you’ll do the right thing.’
The man went to speak, but the words were stuck in his throat. ‘Which one?’ he asked. ‘Which one did it, goddammit!’ He smiled at him, crushing him with the weight of his knowing. The man could see the word nigger curled up in the corner of his mouth, unspoken. They had him in their palm; they offered their fists.

Note: my thanks to Thomas Jordan for his insight and suggestions.

2 comments:

  1. 'Blackguardly exchanges' reads a bit clumsy. 'Black exchanges' would work better, though perhaps 'dark exchanges' to avoid confusion.

    (You forgot to change 'hate-filled face!')

    'Son' sounds too nice considering he's a bit of a dick.

    The officer at the end gets angry far too fast. The "goddammit" is a bit like Ruth's breaking bottle.

    But overall, I liked it. :)

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  2. Thanks. I disagree about the blackguardly bit, though - it works as kind of a semi-pun. Nice - wouldn't you agree?

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